"Petan"
Usenet Poster
petanoz@coldmail.com
Posted on:
Nov 7, 2007, 5:56 AM
Post #3 of 67
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Excellent jokes as the day was stressful and I needed the humour you sent;
many thanks!!
You can add the one about the wind from the south and the electric train
going north and asking which direction does the smoke go? [Electric trains
don't have smoke]
The wind is from the south and therefore which direction do the peanuts or
carrots fall off the tree? [both grow underground]
The rooster is sitting on the peak of the hen house roof. Which side of the
roof do the eggs fall? [Roosters don't lay eggs]
Name the winning jockey on last years Greyhound Derby? [Greyhounds don't
have jockeys]
At last years sheep dog trials, how many were found guilty? [Sheep dog
trials are sheep handling contests not law courts]
There were three butterflies; mother butterfly , father butterfly and baby
butterfly. How many butterflies? [Baby butterflies are a different form of
the animal and similar joke for frogs, flies etc]
There were three cows; father cow, mother cow and baby cow. How many cows?
[One, the mother, as the baby is a calf and the dad is a bull. Similar for
dogs, horses, sheep etc]
Which is correct; the yolk of the egg IS white or the yolk of the egg ARE
white? [Actually it is yellow not white]
There used to be a whole lot of these similar style jokes.
--
Cheers
Peter C
Turn cold to hot if replying personally to this message.
.
"C6" <copter.six@XXXgmail.com> wrote in message
news:473187cd$0$28872$4c368faf@roadrunner.com...
>A senior citizen test
>
>
> Your Yearly Dementia Test
> It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test. Exercise of
> the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older,
> it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it!
> Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of
> intelligence. Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing
> it or not. The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've
> made your answer. OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.
>
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> 1. What do you put in a toaster?
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> Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," give up now and do something else.
> Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2.
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> 2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?
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> Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," don't attempt the next
> question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content
> yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World.
> However, if you said "water", proceed to question 3.
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> 3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from
> blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is
> made from black brick s , what is a green house made from?
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> Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If y ou said "green bricks," why
> the hell are you still reading these??? If you said "glass," go on to
> Question 4.
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> 4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over
> Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided
> into West Germany and East Germany .) Anyway, during the flight, two
> engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also
> failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine
> fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the
> middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany . Where
> would you bury the survivors? East Germany , West Germany , or no man's
> land"?
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> Answer: You don't bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you're a
> dunce and you must stop. If you said, "You don't bury survivors", proceed
> to the next question.
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> 5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to
> MilfordHaven in Wales . In London , 17 people get on the bus. In Reading ,
> six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people
> get off and four get on. InCardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on
> . InSwansea, three people get off and five people get on. In Carmathen,
> six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven.
> What was the name of the bus driver?
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> Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember your own name? It was
> YOU!!
>
> boB
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