"TOCA"
Usenet Poster
Not@valid.com
Posted on:
Nov 12, 2007, 4:26 PM
Post #5 of 6
(34 views)
Shortcut
|
I can think all day, and night too, but the words comming out of my mouth,
are still not anny wiser, than the lack of brain forming them :o/
Thanks for a bunch of laughs :o)
Tommy C
"Mad Mike" <Mad Mike mconronn@yahoo.com> skrev i en meddelelse
news:g4udnVcekthn-aXanZ2dnUVZ_t2inZ2d@insightbb.com...
> fellers,
>
> Have to share this one!
> MM
> =========================
> Subject: Think before you speak
>
> Think before you speak...
>
> Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak - the
> last one is great!
>
> Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the
> words back...
>
> Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....
>
> FIRST TESTIMONY:
>
> I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
> and asked loudly,
>
> 'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow j ob?'
>
> I turned around and walked back out and never went back.
>
>
>
> My husband didn't say a word..... he knew better.
>
>
> SECOND TESTIMONY:
>
>
>
> I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
>
> I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
> After browsing for several minutes,
>
> I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who worked at
> the store.
>
> He asked if he could help me.
>
> Without thinking, I looked at him and said,
>
> 'I think I like playing with men's balls.'
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> THIRD TESTIMONY:
>
> My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that
> sold a variety of candy and nuts.
>
> As we were looking at the display case,
> the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
>
> I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.'
>
> My sister started to laugh hysterically.
> The boy grinned as I turned beet-red and walked away.
>
> To this day, my sister has never let me forget.
>
>
> FOURTH TESTIMONY :
>
> While in line at the bank one afternoon my toddler decided to release
> some pent-up energy and ran amok.
>
> I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of
> disgust and annoyance from other patrons.
>
> I told her that if she did not start behaving 'right now' she would
> be punished.
>
> To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as
> threatening,
>
> 'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma
> that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!'
>
>
> The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
>
> Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
>
> I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank
> with my daughter in tow.
>
> The last thing I heard as the door closed behind me,
> were screams of laughter.
>
>
>
>
> FIFTH TESTIMONY:
>
> Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
> My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training
> and I was on him constantly.
>
> One day we stopped at McDonalds for a quick lunch
> in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room.
>
> While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny,
> so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter,
> and she was clean.
>
> Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while.
> I asked him if he needed to go, and he said, 'No'.
>
> I kept thinking 'Oh Lord, that child has had an accident,
> and I don't have any clean clothes with me.'
>
> Then I said, 'Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?'
>
> 'No,' he replied.
>
> I just KNEW that he must have had an accident,
> because the smell was getting worse. So, I asked one more time,
>
> 'Danny, did you have an accident?'
>
> This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,
> bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled....
> 'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!'
>
> While 30 people nearly choked to death on their chips laughing,
> he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
>
> An older couple made me feel better,
> thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
>
> LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
>
> This one had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days
> and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely
> think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow, but don't get
> any?
>
> We had a female news anchor who,
>
>
>
> the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
> turned to the weatherman and asked:
>
> 'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?'
>
> Not only did HE have to leave the set,
> but half the crew did too, they were laughing so hard!
>
>
>
>
|
